First date, the good, the bad, and the "damn"

I mentioned a little about having a new boyfriend (I feel so high school just writing that). I want to take a moment to sing his praises, though he'll probably laugh when he sees this post.

First dates are always a bit complicated. They require me to decide how much to tell someone, and how soon to tell them. It's also a case of "what if my knee goes buggy on me, how do I explain that?" And our first date was no exception.

We met at a local restaurant, nothing fancy, just someplace to meet for lunch and talk and see if this was going somewhere. And he saw me on crutches. And it wasn't a big deal to him.

And then we went for a walk in the woods. A long walk in the woods. Ok, he walked, I crutched. And I definitely got more of a workout than he did. But it was fun. I never get to walk in the woods anymore, because walking in the woods leaves me open for falls where no one would find me, and cell service in those woods is a bit spotty. He found a way to give that back to me, without even knowing how much I craved it.

It was fun to watch him navigate between wanting to help me, and wanting to let me do things for myself. I'd say he fought himself pretty well. There were definitely times when he wanted to help and held back. But when I asked for help he was right there. It's unusual for me to find someone who gets the importance of letting me do as much for myself as possible. It's really unusual to find it in someone who has little or no knowledge of the disability community, with it's unique perspective and set of etiquette rules.

We followed with putting together a quick dinner at my place (there are limited restaurants in the area, and after dinner we would have been really stuck as neither of us are into the bar scene, so we decided to just go back to my place). At this point, I was doing pretty well, and feeling pretty strong. It's one of those rare days when I felt like I could handle the pain and I could do almost anything.

We traded off backrubs for a while. I actually have some training in massage thanks to a few fun classes while I was in college, and he may not have training in it, but he's good. It was nice to just relax and enjoy. It started at least in part as a way to loosen my shoulders after the long walk. And sort of progressed from there. Neither of us is easy on our bodies, so there were plenty of knots and kinks to work out.

And then it happened. I shifted, and my knee twinged, and I knew I was in trouble. And within a minute I was lying on the floor fighting to stay conscious with tears running down my face. It's a first date nightmare. I couldn't help but think that he'd run after this. Who wouldn't? But he didn't. When I said I was cold he got a blanket and held me (he's like most guys and has way too much body heat, it's not fair). When I simply couldn't fight it anymore I asked if would mind if I checked out for a while, jsut let go of consciousness and let my body do some repairs. Not only did he not mind, he took care of me while I was out.

It's rare for someone to be okay with seeing someone else in that kind of pain. It's rare for them to be so understanding. It's really rare for someone to see that, and still be willing to push them to go for a walk the next day.