Tuesday, October 14, 2008

How many spoons do you have?

Many people ask me what living with chronic pain is like. It's a struggle to answer them. But it seems like someone finally (okay, a while ago, but I just found it) decided to come up with a way to answer that question. Thanks to the person who posted this link.

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf (warning, PDF)

The Spoon Theory is useful in describing the reason you can't go out tonight. Yes, I have time to do both the cooking and go out, but I don't have the energy, or the pain tolerance. No, I can't just put off my chores for too long, because I can't do an all out cleaning for an hour or two when it get's bad. I'm not a clean freak, this is just my way of coping.

It also helps to explain why I can have good days. And why I can plan for good days (mostly). So tonight I can go dancing, but only if I'm really good for a week in advance, and plan to do nothing else for the rest of the week.

And it makes the "I can't ever stop thinking of it" concept really clear. I'm constantly checking in with myself about how many spoons I have left, and what I need to spend them on today (not eating dinner is not a good option). It gives a glimpse into the mindset of having that loom over.

Thank you Christine, for putting into words the way I live my life.

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